(no subject)

[demented-pants.livejournal.com]

You know those calls that make you laugh hysterically and weep at the same time?

Yeah, I just had one of those.

Me: "Thank you for calling xxxx, this is demented_pants. How may I help you?
User: "I don't know if you can help me with this, but I'm using Linux, and I think I may have broken both of my web browsers. My connection is fine but I can't get online with either of them."
Me: "Okay, I can try and help you figure that out. What distro are you using?" (Note: I am a PC consultant. I dabble in Mac support when I need to, but I get approximately one linux call every two months. Of the THREE that I've taken, two of them were people who hadn't followed the instructions carefully and wanted a registration code for the version of Red Hat they'd downloaded from the university servers, which they shouldn't have needed.)
User: "Distro?"
Me (thinking it was just a language issue thing, as that happens frequently): "Yeah, the version of Linux you're using."
User: "Oh, I'm not really sure."
Me (boggling): "Oh." (Trying to jog his memory) "Is it maybe Debian? Ubuntu? Gentoo? Slackware?"
User: "Oh, I think it was Gentoo."
Me: "Red Hat, maybe?" (Thinking, No, there's no way you're using Gentoo. If you were using Gentoo, you'd damn well KNOW WHAT DISTRO YOU'RE USING.)
User: "I'm not really sure. I had the computer custom-built."
Me: "Okay, without more specific distro information, the best I can suggest is to uninstall and reinstall using Terminal. But if you can figure out what distro you're using, we have a mac/unix support line between nine and five."
User: "Okay."

Now, in retrospect, he was probably using Ubuntu, but still.

How can you NOT know?

Comments

[azurelunatic]

Same way people don't know which version of Windows they're running.

[demented-pants.livejournal.com]

I guess you're right.

I'm really just not used to the idea of people using linux enough to break it who didn't put it on the system themselves.

Then again, I'm a lot more used to the EeePC model of linux computing for linux noobs than the "drop them in Ubuntu and let them sink or swim" model.

[pope-guilty.livejournal.com]

At the support job I used to work at, I picked up the trick of asking what colour a cx's start button was. (this was back in '05, so there was still a lot of Windows 98 around) If the answer wasn't "green", you'd have them click and ask what it said down the side. Handy trick, that.

[demented-pants.livejournal.com]

Now'a'days we ask, "What shape is your start menu button? Is it a circle? No? Okay, you're using XP."

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

Oh god, if I had £1 for every person that says 'Internet Explorer' when I ask what version of Windows they use, I could buy many, many pints...

[demented-pants.livejournal.com]

mmmm, pints.

[pope-guilty.livejournal.com]

I was once told that a customer's version of Windows was "Office".

Oh that was a long call.

[fluffydragon.livejournal.com]

It's not that huge a deal, and I'm not in tech support where I work, but every time someone says 'The internet is down! is someone working on that"? I want to beat them. No.. the internet isn't down... our connection is. I want to buy our IT guys a pint everytime they deal with it.

Like I said, not huge.

[shifuimam.livejournal.com]

I have a problem with people who custom build machines for others and dump Linux on there. It's one thing to install Windows and add some OSS like OpenOffice or whatever, but I had people in the dorms where I did tech support who were running Linux and had no idea they were actually running Linux.

Linux is great if you know what you're doing...not if you're an unwitting computer user, however.

[demented-pants.livejournal.com]

I am in agreement.

[70schild.livejournal.com]

Oh GOD yes. I made the mistake of asking my neighbor what browser she used.

"I use Windows."

No no, I mean what does she use to go on the internet?

"Oh I just click the internet button."

Finally we went in circles and got where I wanted to go (which was stop using IE and install FF), and she said "I took a course for all this stuff last year, but I can't remember it all."

She uses the internet every day. :-/

[demented-pants.livejournal.com]

I can't count the number of calls I get where people are like, "So, I'm trying to install the Microsoft..."

....

*facedesk*

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's a really special kind of stupid!

Having said that, I had to explain to my dad the other day what a mouse does. But in his defence, he never uses a computer, he leaves all that to my mum. He's only just learnt how to set the video and operate the microwave. The scary thing he's an engineer by trade...

[falnfenix]

my favorite response to "the internet is down!" comes from the boyfriend:
HOLY CRAP ALERT THE PENTAGON CALL THE NATIONAL GUARD GET THE POLICE THE INTERNET IS DOWN OUR TOOBS ARE CLOGGED!!11!

he usually screams this while running in circles, arms flailing, much like my avatar. :)

[barbituratecat.livejournal.com]

I actually had one guy call me and ask how he could 'install a computer'. I think we managed to figure out that Windows was not booting at ALL. 'So how do I download the computer, then?' Well Sir, you go BACK to the third rate store you bought your PC from, and get THEM to do it!

[barbituratecat.livejournal.com]

It's also really unfair to poor ISP techs who gets calls from said people :(

Like the guy I had, who was running Ubuntu and tried to install Win98 over top of it. He was using some cracked version, Gods know where he got it, and was missing all the device drivers he needed. He was not very happy when I told him Win98 was A) not supported by anyone, and B) not free. 'Why the fuck do I have to PAY to use my computer just because I want Windows on it?!'

[barbituratecat.livejournal.com]

'The Internet is down!' can mean soooo many things.

1) They can't get their email
2) They can't find/open outlook
3) They've got a virus and pop-ups are blocking their browser
4) They can't log in to Hotmail or MSN/some random site
5) Their computer is not on.

And sometimes, even, 6) their connection actually IS down for the moment. But very rarely is that the case.

[kageneko.livejournal.com]

I had something similar. I was setting up a wireless network for someone when he mentions he wants me to take a look at this computer he just installed Windows on. Errors all over the place, no drivers. Finally pulled it out of him that his brother-in-law had given him a pirated copy and installed it for him.

Yeah. I no touchy the illegal clusterfuck, thanks.

[mattcaron.livejournal.com]

cat /etc/lsb-release often works.

[mattcaron.livejournal.com]

In his defense, drafting on paper and calculating with slide rules worked for many, many years.

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

That is exactly what he does, and he's not about to change it any time soon I think. :-)

[reanimated.livejournal.com]

BEAT ME TO IT. i was just about to say that. had a customer not know whether they were using XP or vista (the only 2 versions our program can use). i'm like, hey now, it TELLS you when you start up the computer!

[reanimated.livejournal.com]

*snorts at #5*

[barbituratecat.livejournal.com]

It's so sad, but so true. I get all these old women calling me, saying 'I don't think the Internet is working', and their monitors are busted, or the computer is off.

But clearly, because WE provide a cable modem, we're the ones to call. Preface everything with 'the Internet isn't working!' and it becomes our fault, right?

[captpackrat.livejournal.com]

"What version of Windows are you running?"

"I don't have Windows. I have Internet Explorer."