Oh look!

[darkrose.livejournal.com]

A Mr. Fakey von Fakerson opened a ticket earlier today.. here's what it says:



I have just installed the free version of [a product sunset over 2 years ago] on a new computer, and I need to register it. However, since you have discontinued this product, when I attempt to register, it just sends me to your front page. Please send me the License ID for:

[product name]
[product install key]
[version]

As soon as possible. I thank you in advance for your cooperation.

-------------------------

So one of the techs wrote back and said:

I am unable to locate an order for any version of [the old product]. The FREE version of [the old product] has been discontinued and we are no longer accepting free registrations. If you believe you have purchased the software, please provide the E-mail address, order number, or the last four (4) digits of the credit card used to place the order. If you are looking for a FREE [application type], we recommend you check out [free, open source alterntative--including URL].

-------------------------
So Mr. von Fakerson responded with:

Don't tell me that I need to get [Free, open source alternative]. If you had any intelligence in you, you'd know I already had it. [OSS alernative] and [sunset product] are two completely different programs. You would know that if you looked it up instead of reading to me from your script that was given to you by someone who had the IQ of a lemming.

I need my program registered, and whether or not you still offer it, I still have it. The fact that I currently own it means you need to offer a way for me to register it. It is the free version, but it needs to be registered in the next 30 days in order for me to continue to use it. So, just generate a registration code for it if you're smart enough to do that. Otherwise, resign from your position and refer me to someone with an IQ over 100.

-------------------------

The tech replied with:

Mr von Fakerson, [personally, I can't believe he put that in there! LOL!]

Can you tell me what I have installed on my computer here in the office? You can't, and your insinuation that I lack any intelligence because I have no idea what you have on your computer is insulting. How exactly do you propose I look up if you have a free third party program installed?

The software has been discontinued. All FREE licenses have been revoked, including yours. You do not own a copy of the software, you were granted a license to use it, which has since been revoked. You may not like this, but the simple fact of the matter is the End User License Agreement you agreed to states that we may revoke the license at any time for any reason.

--------------------------

I'm working from home today, so I immediately called the boss and asked him what the hell that was all about. He said that the tech had his blessing on the response, so it's all good. I literally fell out of my chair laughing.

..and people wonder why I go on and on about how idiots of the world have this wonderful sense of entitlement.



Oh it gets better, we now have a written confession that he is going to have one of his "hacker friends" take care of us. I run the servers, his little script kiddie buddies have no chance to get in.

Comments

[bitterfun.livejournal.com]

bravo!

Email - For Great Justice.

[hamsterhotep.livejournal.com]

That *is* fantastic.

[kenbrody.livejournal.com]

Forward a copy of his "hacker friends" threat to the FBI, telling them about the "terrorist threats", and BCC it to him. Sure, nothing will come of it from the FBI, but can you imagine the look on his face when get gets a copy of that? (Heck, we're geeks. You don't even need to really send it to the FBI, and you can still BCC him something that looks like you did.)

[mouser.livejournal.com]

Win!


Pity all the FBI.* domains are taken...

[kenbrody.livejournal.com]

There's always "fbi.tv".

Note: website is NSFW

[metao.livejournal.com]

To be fair, he never claimed to own a licence. The way I read it, the guy downloaded a free trial, liked it, and wanted a licence. He didnt say that he would or wouldnt pay for it (although admittedly, his tone implied that he wouldnt).

It seemed to me that the guy was just complaining that the link built into his free trial didnt send him to an order page, and wanted to know how to get a key. Its just that he failed at defining what he wanted properly.

[kirolee.livejournal.com]

I wonder how many people upon reading that went anyway. :)

[mattcaron.livejournal.com]

I did.

[mattcaron.livejournal.com]

...huge tracks o' land...