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Jan. 26th, 2004 11:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chaobell posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
techrecoveryCustomer comes in with oold pizzabox computer. "We deleted everything and we need it put back on."
I blink. "O...kay. Did you bring the software with you?"
Blank stare. I try rephrasing the question.
"Did you bring the CD's for the programs you need?"
Blank stare. Okay.
"Did this computer have things like Word or Excel or anything like that on it?"
"Oh, I don't know. I just did stuff on it."
"Do you at least have the Windows CD, sir?"
"No..."
Okay. We establish that the box had Win98. I have a Win98 disc, as long as I can exhume the CD key from whatever might be left of this guy's registry, that at least can be handled. Which still left the mystery software. We finally established that he had MS Word. Possibly Office. He wasn't sure. And some other sorts of business-type software--none of which he could remember a title of, even with prodding. I give up and ask again if he's got the discs for this stuff.
"Can't you just put it back on without them?"
...how in the red fuck does this guy expect me to get software onto his computer from discs we don't have? Tractor beam!?
"Noooo...we need the discs to install the software. If you don't have those, we can't install your stuff."
Blank stare. "...I thought you had everything here."
WHY, YES! YES, WE DO! LET ME JUST RUN OUT BACK AND PULL COPIES OF WORKS AND OFFICE AND PAGEMAKER OFF THE SOFTWARE TREES WE HAVE GROWING OUT THERE, TENDED BY HAPPY SOFTWARE TREE ELVES AND UNICORNS!!! *wheeze* *wheeze*
Sorry.
Anyway. Guy has no discs for his software. Which means he's pretty well screwed. Now yes, I know, there's this thing called warez, but he can hunt the warez his damn self. Also, we do keep some software around for just this kind of situation, but when the guy doesn't even know what his software is called, and sure as hell won't be able to produce a CD key, I'm not going to just randomly throw shit on and call it good.
I blink. "O...kay. Did you bring the software with you?"
Blank stare. I try rephrasing the question.
"Did you bring the CD's for the programs you need?"
Blank stare. Okay.
"Did this computer have things like Word or Excel or anything like that on it?"
"Oh, I don't know. I just did stuff on it."
"Do you at least have the Windows CD, sir?"
"No..."
Okay. We establish that the box had Win98. I have a Win98 disc, as long as I can exhume the CD key from whatever might be left of this guy's registry, that at least can be handled. Which still left the mystery software. We finally established that he had MS Word. Possibly Office. He wasn't sure. And some other sorts of business-type software--none of which he could remember a title of, even with prodding. I give up and ask again if he's got the discs for this stuff.
"Can't you just put it back on without them?"
...how in the red fuck does this guy expect me to get software onto his computer from discs we don't have? Tractor beam!?
"Noooo...we need the discs to install the software. If you don't have those, we can't install your stuff."
Blank stare. "...I thought you had everything here."
WHY, YES! YES, WE DO! LET ME JUST RUN OUT BACK AND PULL COPIES OF WORKS AND OFFICE AND PAGEMAKER OFF THE SOFTWARE TREES WE HAVE GROWING OUT THERE, TENDED BY HAPPY SOFTWARE TREE ELVES AND UNICORNS!!! *wheeze* *wheeze*
Sorry.
Anyway. Guy has no discs for his software. Which means he's pretty well screwed. Now yes, I know, there's this thing called warez, but he can hunt the warez his damn self. Also, we do keep some software around for just this kind of situation, but when the guy doesn't even know what his software is called, and sure as hell won't be able to produce a CD key, I'm not going to just randomly throw shit on and call it good.
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no subject
Date: 2004-01-26 09:58 am (UTC)"So, you want me to install software that you can't even tell me the name of... should I just install every application I can find until you run out of disk space, and hope we get the right ones on there? You know there are thousands and thousands of apps out there..."
I believe all tech shops that deal face-to-face with customers should have a large wooden staff in plain view with the word "Stupid" affixed to it. The Stupid Stick. When customers talk themselves into a hole, the tech should hold the stick, perhaps twirl it a little, caress it, and generally draw attention to it. Of course, if that doesn't get picked up on, the tech is then authorized to use more direct means.
Stories like this make me glad to be a programmer. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-01-26 10:00 am (UTC)!
Date: 2004-01-26 10:32 am (UTC)Oh.... that's going on the wall. Wonderful. *claps, cheers, is generally delighted*
no subject
Date: 2004-01-26 10:42 am (UTC)*undeletes everything*
*charges huge fee*
*grins evily*
no subject
Date: 2004-01-26 08:33 pm (UTC)hmmm
Date: 2004-01-28 04:58 am (UTC)Of course "WE" can install the software you had on here. But first, let me tell you that there is a $100 an hour service fee, and since you don't have the software, that means you will need to repurchase the titles that I install. Now, if the title I install is not the software you had, you will still need to purchase the title, as we do not have an exchange policy and the registration key will have been used thus making that software title useless to future users. Are you still interested?