When in doubt about ANYTHING, call IT

[harry-whodunnit.livejournal.com]

Boss: "Why do you look like you've just tasted earwax?"
Me: "I had to help a user fill out a form."
Boss: "Which one? I'm reviewing that section of the intranet over the weekend."
Me: "Parking access."
Boss: "That's not an electronic form."
Me: "No."
Boss: "What did she need help with?"
Me: "I had to tell her to read the question, fill in the box and repeat until the end of the form."
Boss: "That took you fifteen minutes?"
Me: "She lost her place a couple of times and had to start again."
Boss: "Strewth!"
Me: "And now you look like you've just tasted feet."

Comments

[jecook]

Don't make me re-post the tickets about the ants. Again. Although our response was pretty funny...

[phrogg.livejournal.com]

I got a ticket at one point requesting hangar doors be re-mounted. I had the dubious honor of calling that user back and explaining that we don't handle that sort of maintenance.
I closed the ticket out with the comment, "We don't do doors, we only do Windows."

[egearman.livejournal.com]

One for an open door. And every time someone left the door open, one of my co-workers would update it. Last I looked, the ticket had been reopened at least a dozen times, with at least fifty comments.

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

Well, THAT'S just full of win, isn't it?

[pne.livejournal.com]

"Re-mount the hangar doors, Hal."

"I'm sorry, Dave, I can't let you do that."

[ghostdandp.livejournal.com]

Had one asking us to clean out the coffee makers...

Director of IT actually called up that luser and explained the difference between IT and maintnance.

[ravenshrinkery.livejournal.com]

Having been in an organization where the "helpdesk" literally provided service for everything (but with the appropriate staff for the job), calls came in for everything from facilities, groundskeeping, security, even HR when time was critical (say, firing someone. They did more than just deactivate badges and logins). Travel arrangements were even booked through the helpdesk. This all on top of IT.

Actually, it was rather forward-thinking of them. Of course, it would have been nice if they had the autonomy (or could be instructed) to send a large maintenance worker out with a pipe wrench as a LART.

[kenbrody.livejournal.com]

And yet these people remember to eat and breathe. [boggle]

Solution:

Give them a form to fill out, along with instructions on how to eat and breathe, to take home over the weekend. They'll immediately forget how to do those things. Problem solved by Monday morning.

[mynameisnotreal.livejournal.com]

Strewth! I haven't heard that in ages. My old Scottish Aunt used to use it. Ah, the good old days...