(no subject)

[sdaemon.livejournal.com]

The following was just submitted to our queue as a suppport request by an actual client, not a spammer or anything:


"Consider that Christians destroyed the majority of the continent of Africa. (Exploiting their natural resources; dividing their land; killing the strong image of Black male; creating an Idea that Africans were Ignorant, animals in need of Caucasians to tame them.) They told them they were ordained by God to be slaves. And they were Barbaric and inhumane. They were taught that their religion was insufficient. Yet, the Africans inhabited this land first."

...uh, ok.

I'll consider it. I'm considering it right now. And then I'm billing 15 minutes to the ticket and closing it. Next time, this user might consider consulting someone other than the IT helpdesk on issues like this. Perhaps a historical society or the anthropological department of some university.

Users are weird.

Good morning, techsupport. May you get no weird ones today.

Comments

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

wow. ten kinds of farked up.

[sethb.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but being able to bill for it is wonderful.

[squigit.livejournal.com]

Bah. Thanks a punt to your (or their) management for submitting a ticket like that.

[redhillian.livejournal.com]

"And then I'm billing 15 minutes to the ticket and closing it."

This sentence makes the win.

[snyperwolf.livejournal.com]

That's really strange. Was that all of it, or was there something remotely related to computers? Or were they just trying to guilt you into giving them a discount?

[sdaemon.livejournal.com]

that was the support request in its entirety.

minus the user's name and email address and client information, of course.

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

have we figured out what they WANT yet? besides, y'know, emancipation?

[sdaemon.livejournal.com]

I merely interpreted it literally. I considered that Christians had done all that. I should probably follow up with them and ask if there's anything else I can do for them...that would run another 15 minute block of time, however.

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

That's a 'Deep Load' to think about. I think it's worthy of at least 20 minutes and a cup of coffee.

[jecook]

Oh, absolutely.

Submitting non-technical tickets to a technical help desk should be expensive.

[mouse-from-marz.livejournal.com]

40 acres and a mule?

[10001110101.livejournal.com]

-Ask them to let you know what operating system is currently running on their continent.

-Ask if the problem persisted after they tried rebooting the continent.

-Find out if they've downloaded the latest white man removal plugin for their AV.

THEN, once you've got them to reply with the necessary information, can you finally close the ticket. Not a minute before.

And YES, I am very much aware of how cheesy my sense of humor is.

[canray.livejournal.com]

-Ask them to let you know what operating system is currently running on their continent.

Ubuntu most likely. ;-P

[canray.livejournal.com]

Personally, I'd rather consider that the Irish would rule the world if not for Whiskey. ;-P

[shirenomad]

Cheesy, yet metaquotable

[lwj2.livejournal.com]

"Consider that Christians destroyed the majority of the continent of Africa.

insert BEDOUIN insert BLUE MEN insert SAHARA insert NORTHERN AFRICA insert EGYPT insert MUSLIM insert TRADER

(Exploiting their natural resources; dividing their land; killing the strong image of Black male; creating an Idea that Africans were Ignorant, animals in need of Caucasians to tame them.) They told them they were ordained by God to be slaves. And they were Barbaric and inhumane. They were taught that their religion was insufficient. Yet, the Africans inhabited this land first."

REBOOT

RECONSIDER

Minimum billing ought to go to an hour.

:)