Space Oddity

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

Hi, everyone. I found this community and immediately realized that this is the place where I will be venting.

I'm a Tier 1 Technical Support Representative at an inbound call center, for a national wireless ISP who shall remain nameless (but really, how many of them are there?). Now, we at my ISP use Google Earth, with an overlay that shows our coverage areas and towers. To best orient the customer to our signal, we ask the customer to rotate the modem in the direction of the nearest/best tower. It's pretty simple, really. Where's your house? Okay, do you know which way northeast is? Okay, point the blank side of your modem thataway.

Problem is, lots of people don't know 'north' in their own homes. At one point, I literally had this exchange: "Okay, ma'am; do you know which way north is?" "How the hell am I supposed to know that?!" ...*sigh.* So to help them figure which way is which, we coordinate what we can see on Google Maps with landmarks they know, in the direction the tower is in. So far, so good.

I get a valley girl on the phone. Sweet girl, nice person, but not at all computer literate. So I'm coaching this girl through pointing her wireless modem towards the nearest tower, and I start describing the houses in her area in hopes of pinning down which house was hers. When she realizes I can 'see' the cars in the driveway, and gets real, real quiet, and in complete sincerity and awe, she asks:

"Are you in space?"

I wanted so, so badly to say yes.

Comments

[the-reda.livejournal.com]

Aww.
You are a better person than I am. I would have messed with her head. Thehhhe

[geeveecatullus.livejournal.com]

I usually do not know where north is in buildings, but some / a lot use that for orientation so I bought myself a cheap compass.
And you so should have said yes!

[ohmyhead.livejournal.com]

1. Great icon!

2. LOL @ "Are you in space?"

3. How crappy is your service that people have to point their modems at it??

4. Only cops seem to know where North is at all times. And maybe Muslims.

[nykeyoung.livejournal.com]

I would've said "Yes, and I have an Ion cannon pointed at you. You have two minutes to write your last will and testament."

[zzyzx.livejournal.com]

Did you post this in Mock the Stupid a while ago? I think I replied mentioning the Google Copernicus Center.

[110billion.livejournal.com]

I get a valley girl on the phone. Sweet girl, nice person, but not at all computer literate.

Fixed.

Dear lord, seriously... how stupid are your clients?

[the-reda.livejournal.com]

She sounds a little stoned to me ;-)

[moopet.livejournal.com]

*click* hello? This is the emergency operator. We've traced the call - it's coming from inside your own house! Run for your life!

[falnfenix]

*snort*

[vortex.livejournal.com]

*Snort!*

...and yes, I really am lol'ing!...

[70schild.livejournal.com]

That is so awesome.. if they don't know north, can they tell where the sun rises?

[snyperwolf.livejournal.com]

I concur on 1 and 2, but I'm one of those nerds that does all my directions by "go north on this road, head east down this road ..." etc.

That said, I still don't know where north is inside of my home. I think that's mainly because the one of the corners of my home faces north, not a wall.

[ex-deliveryboy.livejournal.com]

"Are you in space?"



"No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in outer space."

[ptstech.livejournal.com]

You, sir, are a saint. There's now way I could have passed that up...

[ohmyhead.livejournal.com]

Really? When I watch "Cops" and they're all, "Suspect is headed southwest on Main St.", I'm like, "How the fuck does he KNOW that?"

[nem0.livejournal.com]

I'm a cardinal directions nerd, too. I didn't realize that was a rare skill until I worked for campus housing one summer and had to give visitors directions to my office. There were three high-rise dorm buildings, and they're easy to find because they're the only buildings taller than 3 stories in the entire valley. One looks like a space shuttle on LSD, and the other two are identical and named South and North. Conversations usually went like this:

"Can you see the really tall buildings?"

"Yes."

"I'm in the lobby of North."

"Which one is that?"

"The... the north-most one."

"Which way is that?"

Erf. At least with three, I could tell them it's not the weird one and not the one in the middle, and most of them could figure it out from there.

My hometown has obvious landmarks. If you can see the mountain range that looks like a guy sleeping on his back, that way is north.

[ohmyhead.livejournal.com]

"Which one is that?" Yep, that would be me. :D

[brownizs.livejournal.com]

Yep, yes they did http://community.livejournal.com/mock_the_stupid/2921315.html And just to add, rotating the modem for a better signal, will not work. An antenna will pick up radiating signals, no matter what direction they come from.

[canray.livejournal.com]

Not many folks know where North is. Hell, I was lucky to know what neighbourhood I was in when I first moved here. ;-P

As for the Valley Girl...

"Oh, like, TOTALLY! I'm a total Space Cadet, yaknow?" *Chews gum with an open mouth and plays with little doggy that lives in huge purse*

[jill-idle.livejournal.com]

It depends on the type of antenna. Some are directional, some are not. It's also important how it's placed in relation to other metal, which can act like a lens or a shield. It's ultimately impossible for techsupport to understand the variables over a phone call. Best I recommend is they experiment with positions. If they still don't understand, the worst case scenario is they improve their sex life.

[brownizs.livejournal.com]

Unless the antenna is built into the device as a flat-panel antenna, rotating may help, but it will pick up the radiation from the signal, no matter what direction it is facing. It will show stronger once pointed toward the correct signal direction, just like turning a TV antenna, but only if there is no structure or metal blocking the signal.

[miertam.livejournal.com]

In space no one can hear you whimper.

[glassarchitect.livejournal.com]

that's awesome :)

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

1. Thanks. :)
2. Seriously. :D
3. It's not, actually. It's just that the modem is directional.
4. You'd think that at least in your own house, though...

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

I did, and you did, but I just joined this community, and figured they'd get a kick out of it. =)