ESP and other random god-like abilities.

[jwendl.livejournal.com]

This is going to hopefully kill two birds with one stone...
Anyways the obligatory "Hi I am new here" where I describe the fact that I have been working in technical support (basically) for 5 years now. Three years of which was with a Real estate software company and the rest with an undisclosed University


One thing that I have noticed in the many years I have worked is that there is a good portion of your job where you have to read minds. Now I always like puzzles, but trying to figure out what a person says is more difficult of a task than actually fixing the issue. I have it easy where I work now as I actually have root access on people's account information and can do some guess work. I still remember the horrible days of doing phone support though inwhere I didn't have such access and obtaining information was like twisting a person's arm.

BUT...

Here is the rant:
When you send an e-mail to technical support and it states "I can't login to any of the machines on campus."
Here is how my brain attempts to figure out the solution.
0) Of course the end-loser didn't copy/paste/write the error message in the email, because error messages are useless...
1) Ok this user is on either Unix or Windows since we have both systems... Probably Unix
2) Ok now is this person a grad student or undergrad... Most likely grad
3) Let's check the username and hope he sent it from his University e-mail account (which is possible...) SCORE!
4) Ok look up username on database, find out he is a grad student and hasn't opened up his windows account yet.
5) That must mean he only uses unix, so I now assume that he is able to login via ssh and not able to physically at the workstation (just an assumption)

After chugging with my brain deductions:

Reply in an e-mail stating "Hi, you must not be able to login physically at a machine... so Just ssh into any machine from home and type in the command [insert command to reset environment here]. Hopefully this works for you"

Get a reply later on that says "thanks for the quick reply that fixed my issue."

Main point of the story, ask as little as possible. Heck don't ask questions at all, just use a little bit 'o some of that ESP to predict what they are trying to say.

Comments

[rettiger.livejournal.com]

Heh, my customers seem to think I've got ESP.

I'll be walking them through something and I'll hear a ding in the background and know immediately what window popped up and tell them what option to click, it seems to freak people out.

I've had more than one person ask if I can see their computer screen after that.

ESP

[jwendl.livejournal.com]

I think it is moments like those that give me the warm fuzzies, either that or I have been in this biz for too long ....

I get more amused when they go so far as to say, "well if you can see what I am doing why not just do it for me!"

Yes I have experienced that once...

[jcaswell.livejournal.com]

I've got to the point at the school I work now where I won't solve the kids' problems if they don't give me an error message. I'll send them away and tell them to come back with an error message, then I'll fix it for them. Telling me "I can't log in" could mean any of a number of things: you're typing the wrong username (this happens a lot); you've got capslock on (so does this); whoever used the PC before you was a bastard and unplugged the network cable; you've forgotten your password; you're trying to log in to someone elses account (and don't think I can't tell); etc. etc.

And telling me "none of the computers work in x classroom" is rubbish and you know it. Go back, reboot the one you were trying and give it another go. Then, and only then, may you return to me, WITH at least the key words from your error message. And if you're one of only 10 students in a classroom where there are 30 pcs and you can't log in to ONE computer, I don't care. Try another one.

[hoffman-log.livejournal.com]

I agree.

But then again, if I really had the ability to read people's minds, the LAST place I would be working is tech support.

_MaH

[tjernobyl.livejournal.com]

I saw a pattern of connects with a password that was obviously misspelled every 30 seconds. Confirmed what it should be, figured that the timing indicated a router, checked the user's info, found that he had an ethnic name. Couple minutes later, got a call from someone with the corresponding accent.

"Yes, I'm having trouble connecting my rou..."
"Oh, Mr. So-and-so! Your finger missed the 'v' key when you were typing the password the first time. If you retype it, it should connect just fine."
*stunned silence*
*typity typetype*
"...thanks...*fumblyclick*"

Another satisfied customer :)

[daerlyn.livejournal.com]

I get this at work a lot (and from my boyfriend, but that's a whole other story *rolls eyes*). I'm very flattered that you think I'm psychic, but really, just telling me what you want me to know/do is a lot faster.

[jwendl.livejournal.com]

Interesting point, but you know sometimes you have to when a professor requests a piece of software for his research which has no instructions on how to install. Then the professor tries to explain to us how to install it in an IRIX system while we state that we run solaris 5.8.

Definitly fun times had by all, but ya most people who use computers probably have a few cobwebs upstairs...