(no subject)

[onyxrising.livejournal.com]

I had a customer call in to find out why her computer was running slow. Turns out she'd installed every virus scanner program she could buy on her computer, and set at least one to run a full scan of her computer every 30 minutes. I informed her that this could be the issue. She insisted that it could not be, because a previous representitive had told her running an antivirus would help keep her computer from slowing down again. I was unable to convince her to uninstall any of them, or reduce the number of scans she does.

Comments

[superbus.livejournal.com]

Naturally, it's going to be your fault. You didn't use your Tech Pixie Dust to magically make her tubes unclog. You suck.

[wherdafux-d-cat.livejournal.com]

I had to use a TSA analogy once to get a user to see the light. When she goes through the airport, she and her bags are screened once. That's a normal antivirus setup. What she's doing is like having to go through a different screener every twenty feet, both her and her bags. It's a dumb analogy but she saw the light.

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

at least it's not likely that she has a virus

[jjjiii]

In that case, she'll want to be sure she maxes out her RAM and maybe upgrades to something with at least 16 CPU cores.

[siliconshaman.livejournal.com]

whoa...you think maybe she took all those warnings about viruses just a tad bit too seriously?
[seriously though, for a user, that has to be a first.]

[onyxrising.livejournal.com]

It's an analogy that'd probably work. I bet I'll end up using it.

[onyxrising.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure a couple of the "free antiviruses" she'd downloaded were varieties of malware, though, so I'm sure she'll be calling us back in a few days.

[the-reda.livejournal.com]

Why don't you tell her that the best anti virus is called: format C.
You know, after Vitamin C.
She should do that two time a day.

[manuka.livejournal.com]

It's funny, I used a TSA analogy the other day when someone was having a problem with our mail firewall rejecting Word docs with VB macros.

I told her that the mailgateway screening software saw what looked like components of a bomb in her e-mail and confiscated it. And if you were to put it in a zip file, that would make it safer, because just like the airlines, if it's in a ziploc bag, it makes us all safer somehow.

[wherdafux-d-cat.livejournal.com]

Good luck!

[xforge.livejournal.com]

Those unwilling to listen to the advice of people who get paid to answer the questions they're asking, deserve whatever they end up with.

[xforge.livejournal.com]

The analogy for this chick's setup is like having a full body cavity search every 20 feet administered by 25 different people. = )

[xforge.livejournal.com]

Hey, maybe one of 'em is Edzy and she won't have any network capability soon.

[onyxrising.livejournal.com]

She also had paid to talk to me, since she was out of warranty.

[wherdafux-d-cat.livejournal.com]

I don't disagree with you there in the least but there was a limit to what I could say to most customers. Especially when my boss was in his office (which was right next to my cube). ;-)

[naggy.livejournal.com]

"Ma'am, I noticed that only one of your antivirus programs is set to scan every 30 minutes - you really need to set them all to run every 10 minutes for maximum protection."

Because sometimes, the only way to make it clear is to make it worse.