More porn :(

[combat-taco.livejournal.com]

The other day I was setting up a harmony universal remote for a new client at her ex-husband's house, while she was doing his laundry. I hope when I'm divorced that my ex-wife comes over and does my laundry... jesus fucking christ.

Anyway, she had really cute kids who were climbing all over me, and asking me a bazillion questions and wanting to play with my blackberry. Against my better judgment I let one of them play Arkanoid on it and he ran off, leaving two kids behind to scream and run around and make general havoc. With at least one of the distractions gone, I started the arduous task of rewiring her entire home theater system, made more difficult by the botched job her ex-brother-in-law had done. After getting everything setup correctly (for the most part), I asked her if she had a video cassette tape to make sure the vcr worked. She went to her ex's shelf and got "King Arthur", and, stupidly, without looking I put in the tape. I guess I had wired the video cabling wrong because nothing came on the screen, but the audio worked.

"OooOOh,,, UNNG.. YEAH EYAH EYAH OOOOOOOOOO"

Porn. It took me about five seconds, the longest five seconds of my life. In that five seconds that woman and I shared a look of sheer, unrivaled terror as her two daughters will still playing five feet from us. I pushed the power button as soon as it donned on me.

That was not King Arthur.

When I ejected the tape I saw the label on it just said "ALL MODELS OVER 18". At least this time I didn't give these five year old kids an eyeful in front of their mother.

She thought it was pretty funny.

Comments

King Arthur

[irishmasms.livejournal.com]

if only the kids were not there, that could have SO went into a different direction... ;)

[ravenshrinkery.livejournal.com]

After the first two stories I found myself saying "Dude, you got a shitty job". Now I find myself asking "Dude, why haven't you quit this job while you still have your sanity?" Relocate, retrain, anything to escape this crap. It's not the porn, hell, as you say, many of us have seen or even enjoy some pretty fucked up shit, but none of us share that with people who haven't made it clear they want to know!

[combat-taco.livejournal.com]

Well, to be perfectly honest most of my stories happened last year. I wrote them all down in a written journal and have just recently gotten around to posting them. I've since been promoted to director of operations for the same company, so now when one of my techs tells me a gross story I can totally relate :)

Re: King Arthur

[combat-taco.livejournal.com]

She was totally a cougar too.

[arashikurobara.livejournal.com]

Well, at least this time sharing it was an accident...

[jdotmi.livejournal.com]

Nothing beats the horse story.

NOTHING.

[artimusdin.livejournal.com]

... do I want to know? Actually, scratch that. I want to know. Anyone got a link handy?

[jdotmi.livejournal.com]

You've been warned! (http://community.livejournal.com/techsupport/1359014.html)

[artimusdin.livejournal.com]

.... is it sad that I can honestly say I've seen worse? >.> At least it was only videos and not an actual (miniature) horse he was going to 'marry'.

[cumaeansibyl.livejournal.com]

Not that guy with the ponywife on LJ??

[artimusdin.livejournal.com]

Heee. Yes. Horse-fucker. He of the "And his wife? A horse!" fame.

[cumaeansibyl.livejournal.com]

My God, that was good times. *fondly remembers the ponywife drama*

[artimusdin.livejournal.com]

I know! *beams* Mind breaking, yes, but oh-so-fun.

[cumaeansibyl.livejournal.com]

The mindbreakage was the best part, really -- because the real fun didn't come from the guy himself, it came from all the other people going OMGWTFPONYWIFE???!?!?

Now that's entertainment.

[artimusdin.livejournal.com]

EXACTLY. And when he was "OMGWaitwhut?" about the human-on-the-side leaving him because he's too tired from fucking pony!wife to fuck HER (among other reasons)? HILARIOUS. People were just going "YAY for her! ... oh wait, what? She didn't leave him because he was fucking the horse, she left because of something else?!? *cry*"

Re: King Arthur

[irishmasms.livejournal.com]

"Kids, go outside & play....."