(no subject)

[turningallblue.livejournal.com]

I have been working DSL tech support for BigGiantPhoneCompanyPeoples for exactly a week.
Already I have enough good work stories to hold my own at any bar get-together. I am also learning basic laws of human behavior that I didn't previously think had to be expressed.
1) If you have a screaming child, do not place it on your lap and continue letting it squeal like a kicked dog while trying to talk to me. I am wearing a headset, not earmuffs.
2) Calling me and spluttering techspeak at me will not impress me, nor will telling me that you're a technician yourself. If you were, you wouldn't need to call me. And you would also probably know what a hub is, which you don't.
3) SPEAKERPHONES ARE BAD.
4) Do not bitch me out for this taking so long. If you had RTFM in the first place, your problem most likely would have been solved. But you didn't, so here we are. And trust me dude, I would much rather be at home with a beer and Warcraft than listening to your hick ass get angry because "Y'all TOLD me tah put these hurr filters awn all the laaa-ines." Yes. We did. All the lines except the modem's line.

It is kind of nice when people ask me what I do. I reply "tech support" (or alternately "I keep stupid people safe from the bad Internets") and get looks of pity and concern.

Comments

[pixelchik.livejournal.com]

It is kind of nice when people ask me what I do. I reply "tech support" (or alternately "I keep stupid people safe from the bad Internets") and get looks of pity and concern.

I like to call myself, "Problem Solver". It sounds so Pulp Fiction to me. :)

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

(or alternately "I keep stupid people safe from the bad Internets")

......

somehow I just know I'm going to be using that phrase sometime soon....

[anamacha.livejournal.com]

I definitely feel your pain, man. I refuse to talk to ppl on speakerphones. All they get is "hello?"

[turningallblue.livejournal.com]

If they haven't gotten the message by the fifth time I have asked "Sir/Ma'am, is there another phone I may speak to you on? This one has a lot of static," I do suppose I could always xfer to the analog repair line and be done with it....

[doctoreon.livejournal.com]

nor will telling me that you're a technician yourself.

Well, you know, even technicians have to call other technicians sometimes. Personally, when I call Dell Tech Support to order parts and they make me jump through their stupid hoops, it just pisses me off. So, I usually tell them I'm a tech, and I've already done all the diagnostics. Of course, they're assholes, and they want you to do it again.

[turningallblue.livejournal.com]

I understand that even other techs need tech support sometimes. It's when the term is thrown at me like it's supposed to impress me that it gets on my nerves. This particular customer literally told me that he was a tech before he would even give me his name, and asked that I note it on his account. If it was thrown in as an aside it would not have bothered me.