[identity profile] red-scully.livejournal.com
Dear Mr Special Snowflake,

Your work computer?  Is your WORK computer.  And as your work IT Helpdesk gal, my responsibility is to your WORK computer and all the WORK-RELATED stuff it has on it.  When I transfer all your data across from one machine to another, I am under no obligation at all to transfer your precious iTunes library across with all the work documents you've got stored on there.  Strictly speaking I should actually just delete the lot - but I can't do that, because I'm too nice.  BUT, whining at me about how all the stuff needs to be kept on the old machine is not going to score any brownie points with me.  I resent the fact that you get to keep your old computer for personal use, and by extension I resent the fact that I have to spend an hour wiping the damn thing and putting a blank XP install onto it in order to comply with licence laws.  Asking me to set up your iTunes on this machine, to be frank, is rude.  And when I state that I can't do that because I don't have time to do non-work-related tasks, telling me, "it's ok, just don't wipe the laptop and I'll take it home as is" will not get you anywhere either, because now you're asking me to BREAK THE LAW for the sake of your crappy music collection?  Well, matey, I checked out your music collection, and anyone with 5gb worth of 'Best of the 90s' and 'Music from Dawsons Creek' deserves to suffer horribly.  If I wasn't so spineless, I would have fucked up all your drivers and deleted the iTunes before presenting you with the crappy laptop to take home to your (incredibly ugly, based on your stupid wallpaper) kids.

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

No love,
[identity profile] red-scully.livejournal.com
Dear Luser Who Sounds Like He's On The Verge Of Either Weeping Or Exploding With Rage,

I'm sorry, but you did NOT ring half an hour ago and log a call.  I know this because the person you originally claimed you spoke to does not exist.  The person you then claimed you had actually spoken to tells me he did not take a call from you.  What actually happened is that you rang everyone on the Helldesk on their DIRECT LINES and left them imploring voicemails, before calling the actual Helldesk number half an hour later and coming to me.  I'm sorry that you've been waiting half an hour 'for someone to come and fix this urgent problem' but if we don't know about it, we can't fix it.  Furthermore, don't tell me that a call has 'definitely been logged' when it hasn't.  When I ask for a reference number and don't get one, I know you're fibbing.

Furthermore, do NOT lie to me about the problem when you know full well what is actually going on.  If you forgot to tell us in advance that someone was coming to work in the office and would need a network connection for her laptop, and realise only ten minutes before they're due to do some Urgent Work, do NOT call us claiming that "it's just a password that needs resetting".  This will not achieve ANYTHING apart from me having to erase and rewrite the entire call log when I realise what's actually going on here, i.e. your own incompetence.  A password reset is NOTHING to do with needing to plug a computer into the network.  Nothing at all.  I know you know this because about five minutes into the conversation you suddenly said that you knew what actually needed to be done was that a network connection should be provided.

Finally, please don't be so rude to me.  Again, it's not my fault that you didn't actually log a call.  Sighing and emphasising how important this is, and how you've apparently been sat by the phone for half an hour waiting for us to fix something that we didn't know about, isn't going to make me help you when it's accompanied by tutting and the implied opinion that we're a bunch of lazy twits.

I hate you,

[identity profile] red-scully.livejournal.com
Dear home worker,

If you ask me to do something, and I say I will call my colleague to get some information and then call you back, how about you try listening to what I just told you?  Responding with, "I have to email the Mayor of boring-city-in-North-England, how do you think I'll look if I send him a virus?  You just don't listen to me." will NOT endear me to you.  When I have to repeat, "I understand, ma'am, which is why I'm going to call my colleague and give you a ring back when I've got a solution," TWICE because you KEEP TALKING OVER ME, it doesn't make me want to help you.  It makes me want to kill you.  You should thank god that you're in Wolverhampton, because if you were in London I would be on your doorstep right now.

No love at all,

Very weary Helpdesk girl.
[identity profile] ptstech.livejournal.com
We issued our first new Crackberry a little over a month ago.
The results have been predictable.

We've had tickets submitted for everything from poor signal to bad juju, with the obvious (from the user's perspective, anyway) answer to "just send a new one!"

He answered every query with an answer that he thought would make me throw my hands up and say, "Okay, I'll send you a new one."  He gave up at the point where we were going to conference him in with an AT&T rep.

It's like they don't even try anymore...

(x-posted to TSC)
[identity profile] margaretc.livejournal.com
One minor issue is that the "fields" (corresponding to the columns of the Excel file) are slightly different from what we provided yesterday, so the website will need to be changed slightly to match what is contained here. I imagine this is easy to fix.

Don't know why I bothered - I spent quite a lot of the day today changing the db and the web pages to the fields they'd provided yesterday.

Then, following that, is: The slightly more complicated issue is that each entry (article) is often recorded in multiple rows of the spreadsheet.

[identity profile] honig.livejournal.com
We do not have a decent e-submission system for support request so we get emails from users from time to time about whatever problems they are having. This morning I got this one from one of our nursing instructors:

$Honig, I hope you are the person that I need to address this computer problem. If not please direct me to the correct MIT person.

Computer problem: When I use my junk drive on this computer, the computer will "shut-down" without warning or power surge while my junk drive (e-drive) is in the computer. This problem began before Christmas break. It has consistently gotten worst. I am concern that I will loose all of my power-points. I work at home as well at work. So, I constanly upgrade from home-to-work then back again. Frequently I loose internet access well on this computer. (This is unrelated to the weather.) Please help so that I can safely use my junk drive. Someone suggested that since I have a lot of powerpoints that I do not have enough memory on this computer.
I do not have this problem on my home lap top.

For reference we are the MIS department. MIT is that school up north where all the people who have more sense than to get stuck working at a helpdesk for a community college in Alabama.

These are the types of people who are teaching the future nurses of the world. Well at least the future nurses that can actually pass their boards.

I am also surprised she did not work the word synergy in there somewhere.
[identity profile] geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com

I found this over at The Book of Biff, I don't believe his IT team has much to complain about.

Biffs computer security


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