delta_mike posting in techrecovery
(Previously. Recap: University sysadmin.)
- Refer to my office as the 'holding cell'.
- Remove the world-executable bit from
/bin/rm, because "the users can't be trusted to use it safely."
- Demonstrate my dominion over the undergraduate lab by scripting all of the lab machines to sequentially eject and withdraw their CD drive trays in a continuous mexican wave.
- Update the service status page to enumerate the current functional levels of the system administrators.
- ... particularly listing your own status as "low voltage on +5 line, supply more coffee."
- Reconfigure printers to display as their low-toner message
NEED MORE POWDERED CHOCOLATE.
- ... or have them display the message
OM NOM PAPERwhen loading from the extended magazine.
- ... never, ever configure the printers to display the message
JUDGING YOUat any time. One of the secretaries had to be restrained from beating their office photocopier to death with their shoe.
- The correct sequence of steps of making a presentation is not, "1: Insert foot in mouth. 2: Aim gun at foot. 3: Fire." Kindly remove this text from the "Helpful advice to undergraduates" wiki-page.
- Maintain and/or distribute fortunes files containing quotes from University lecturers.
- Add Aerial Faith Plate markings to the floor-tiles in the machine-room.
- ... or label individual lecture theatres and labs with test-chamber glyphs.
- ... or, in any other way, indicate to the student population that cake may be found in the College tutor's offices.
- I am permitted, nay encouraged, to study the Canons of Effective and Ethical Systems Adminstration. The study of cannons, however, is strongly contraindicated.